In a series of new interviews with anonymous congresspeople, ABC News found that, as of Saturday, a majority of Congress wishes it was as popular as Iran. As the government shutdown crisis continues and the Debt Ceiling looms, Congress' popularity among Americans has slipped to 5%, less popular than hemorrhoids and toenail fungus. At the same time, Iran has shown a marked spike in popularity as it's new president Hassan Rouhani has shown himself to be less threaten-people-with-nukes-especially-Israel-y than his predecessor. As Iran has admitted UN inspectors to confirm that its nuclear is purely for peaceful purposes.

Likely due to a combination of these factors, Congress' approval rating is now far below that of Iran, which recently got a fifteen percent global approval rating, which in Congress is known as a "High point". So it's not surprising that John Boehner is growing a beard and many Congresspeople wish they could have Iran's public approval.

However, despite Congress' best efforts, their popularity seems to just keep plummeting. Another poll has shown that the phrase "It's scary that these wackos have nuclear weapons." is applied more to Congress than to Iran and North Korea combined, and a significant number of Americans are considering moving to a place like Russia, where the one guy makes all the terrible decisions without having to argue with anyone.