In a turn of events that surprised the entire Dungeons and Dragons Club, the D&D club was actually the least equipped student group to handle the troll that rampaged through Rockettopia High School on Wednesday. Although the D&D club leader, a self described 'Level 14 Elf Wizard', tried using magic to stop the rampaging beast, he was unsuccessful, determining that the troll 'Is under the influence of a level 15 anti-type-6C-magic-shield-spell.' In related news, the D&D club has chosen a new leader.

The anti-cyberbullying club attempted to cure the troll's antisocial tendencies through compassion, and three of them were devoured before someone pointed out that 'It's not that kind of troll.' The ecology club withdrew to their ecological complex (i.e. Classroom with a lot of plants) to attempt to find a natural control. After a few hours, the Robotics club defeated the troll with a giant killer robot. They said that they had not defeated the troll earlier because 'We thought it might give us more respect than the student council. But the council's going to give us a grant now, right?' The correctness of this statement was emphasized by the robot training a laser on the class president. We here at The Cornpopper hope that, in the words of the principal 'This damn school will stay quiet for a whi-' The principal's remarks were cut short as he was kidnapped by harpies.

To raise funds, The Cornpopper will be auctioning off a spot in an upcoming edition to the club that pays the most. The Psychology Club and the Ecology Club are currently neck and neck for first.