Halfway through her first meeting with Donald Trump today, German chancellor and de facto leader of the free world Angela Merkel turned to Reince Priebus and said, "Okay, ha-ha, where's the real president?" According to reporters, Priebus hesitated for a moment before responding, "Madame chancellor, he's sitting right there next to you"

"No, that's a model of a clown made by a capuchin monkey using paper mache and orange peels. It's not moving, and the sounds that it makes don't even sound human. This whole 'Trump' /thing has been hilarious, but it's been fifty days. Bring out President Clinton or President Bush or President Cruz or whoever."

According to witnesses, Priebus and Merkel were both silent for a few minutes, before Priebus nodded slightly and Merkel shouted at the top of her lungs "You gotta be fucking kidding me!"