Yesterday, the principal returned from his captivity in the South Pacific, having escaped disguised as a hula dancer, and was promptly mistaken for one of the 'Popular' girls. It has been confirmed by the Rockettopia High Newspaper, the Cornpopper, that at least five boys asked the principal out before he made it the hundred feet between the door and his office. A member of the Psychology Club explained: "He was wearing a grass skirt, coconuts on his chest, a headdress, sandals, a ton of makeup, and nothing else. That is a bit more than most of the Popular girls wear, but the heterosexual wing of the football team still found him hot enough to date. Well, it's true that he was sort of sexy in that tiny grass skirt, with those huge hips and tiny, adorable, waist..." The reporter left shortly after. (Later research confirmed that the interviewed Psychology club member was one of the five who asked out the principal.

In the Auction for space in the paper, the Psychology and Ecology clubs are still neck-and-neck, although there have been rumors that the Ecology club will drop it. Competition has been getting fierce, with reports of Ecology Club members feeding Psychology Club members to Venus Flytraps. The Psychology club went one worse and forcibly lectured three ecology club members on Freudian Psychology.