In their meeting last night, the Rockettopia school board considered a proposal to reallocate the funds currently devoted to the annoying buzzing sound that pervades the RHS music department. The buzzing sound, which is found in nearly every practice room, acts as 'quality control' in that it keeps the quality of Rockettopia's performing arts under control. It ensures that despite all possible attempts, students will be unable to effectively practice in the few practice rooms. The avoidance of quality in Rockettopia's performing arts department has been a top priority for years, but in this time of financial troubles, even sacred cows such as quality assurance are on the chopping block.
Those who oppose the removal of the buzzing noise point out the great danger of allowing the performing arts to achieve any reasonable level of quality, and remind everyone what happened the last time the department did something that amazing. "You all remember the blood, the noise, the chaos. The shame of seeing our town on national TV.", said school board member Anika Johnston. "You remember the fires? It took two days for the fires to die out. Never again."
Many board members, however, think that Mrs. Johnston's fears are unwarranted. They point out that the tiny number of practice rooms already keep productivity down, and cite the brilliant work of the music department staff in avoiding excess quality. "The choice of musicals is something for which I'm really proud of the Performing Arts Department staff.", Mr. Steve Sanders told News from Rockettopia. "Who knew that there was a musical called Urinetown? But those geniuses found it and they pulled it off! It more than made up for the dangerously good performance of Les Miserables in '13. I think Curtains, whatever that is, should suffice this year, but I'll admit that I'm a little disappointed that they aren't doing Springtime for Hitler. Still, keep up the good work, folks!"
Other board members have pointed out that cuts to the quality control budget are not unprecedented - nearly a decade ago, budget cuts forced the board to cut the jobs of the grand master bagpipers who had previously provided the annoying buzz. The bagpipers were replaced with the machines that now produce the noise today, which sadly are far less irritating and have therefore driven fewer students insane. (A side note: According to an anonymous source told us that the bagpipers are actually still in the high school. According to our source, they are in room 227, which does not appear on any maps, is sealed with two padlocks and a foot of concrete, is painted to look like a wall, and labeled "Broom Closet. Beware of Leopard")
Due to the compelling arguments on both sides, the debate remains heated, although the recent flooding of the music department has substantially helped the case of those who say that music students are suffering enough even without the buzzing sound. Still, the supporters of the buzzing sound are standing firm. Whatever the outcome, we'll give the last word to Steve Sanders: "It's time to stop wasting taxpayer dollars on the annoying buzzing sound and just let the music teachers do their job."