Surprisingly, Jeb Bush might not be the person currently having the worst day in the world today; Shepard Smith has reportedly become stuck in an infinite time loop until he has a personal epiphany. According to the Fox News reporter, "I've been living the same day over and over again for thousands of years! It's hell! I have to listen to Donald Trump give the same speech over and over and over again - at this point I could fucking recite it from memory." As our stunned reporter watched, frozen in horror, Smith then proceeded to do just that.
In an attempt to end the eternal agony of covering the Iowa Caucuses forever, Smith has reportedly tried a variety of tactics. He has thrown himself off buildings, shot himself, electrocuted himself, and even spoken to Ted Cruz. Most recently, Smith kidnapped presidential candidate Mike Huckabee, stole a truck, and drove it off a cliff into a gravel pit.
Okay, I'll admit it's not some of my best work
As of press time, Smith has decided to use his eternal time loop for some kind of good, and is now hiding near a Donald Trump rally holding a sniper rifle.