The following is an official announcement from the administration of Rockettopia Institute of Technology:
It's been a week since the start of spring semester classes, and we feel that some reminders are in order. We know that most students and faculty will already know most of this, but it's always important to remember and clarify various college rules and policy.
First and foremost, Sigma Alpha Epsilon still has ninety-seven years left on the campus ban that was put in place following the Incident three years ago. Any SAE member found on campus will be arrested by CPS, and any student who knowingly brings or allows an SAE member onto campus will find themself in a disciplinary hearing. In a related reminder, students and faculty are forbidden from entering the enormous dome that covers the site of the old SAE House.
Use of the particle accelerator as a room for sex is strictly forbidden between the hours of 8:00 PM and 6:00 AM, as well as during operating hours.
The food at Gloria's is the best you're going to fucking get, so just fucking deal with it, okay? We're not a fucking restaurant.
Students - especially but not exclusively the engineering students - and are reminded that the use of Institute resources to construct giant death robots or doomsday weapons constitutes a misuse of resources and can result in academic suspension. Any students wishing to construct such things must do so on their own time with their own resources, or officially apply for a grant for a research project.
Under no circumstances is the biology lab to be used for growing magic mushrooms. We are aware that the First Wiccan Temple of Rockettopia pays very well for all magic items, but using Institute property for supernatural activities is against Institute policy and will result in a disciplinary hearing. In related news, the project to grow mind-control mushrooms is coming along quite well.
Students and faculty are strongly discouraged from entering the swamps around campus. Not because there are any escaped lab specimens living in the swamps or anything like that, though. Nope. As our lawyers will tell you, there is no proof of escaped lab specimens occasionally devouring students who enter the swamp after dark. Still, management strongly advises that students avoid the swamp.
Finally, it is our pleasure to introduce our new president, Dave! Dave is a veteran education administrator with a history of encouraging diversity and expanding engineering programs. He is eight feet tall, a three-time grammy-nominated rapper, and periodically cosplays as Obi-Wan Kenobi. Dave will become president of RIT in June, after the current president steps down. We invite you all to wish Dave the best!
4π will rise