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Tuesday, February 16 2016
Zohan Middle School
Pants Day
Tuesday is Pants Day at The Zohan. For a donation of only $5000, students will be allowed a one-day exemption from the school's 'you have to wear pants' requirement.
Audacity College
Mardi Gras
A Mardi Gras celebration is being held in the IDX Student Life Center's Fireside lounge. Attendees are expected to bring their own beads to throw at the strippers. Alcohol will not be tolerated, except for Budweiser®, the official sponsorer of Audacity College.

Wednesday, February 17 2016
Wiccan Holidays
Wiccan Ash Wednesday
Wiccans avenge remember two thousand years of persecution by definitely not kidnapping and burning Catholics. If there happen to be any mysterious disappearances of Catholics on Wiccan Ash Wednesday, it is in no way related to Wiccan Ash Wednesday.